Saturday, May 14, 2011

Striking a Balance

How do you strike a balance between friends with kids and friends without kids?

No really. I'm asking. Because sometimes, trying to interact with childless friends makes me want to lock myself in the house and never come out.

There of course are varying degrees of friends.

The incredibly amazing supportive friends who love your children and are open to your schedule... Or rather, the kids schedule. These people are there when you need them, dote on your kids and are just generally the most amazing friends you have. We love these friends.

Then there are the friends that pack up and leave the minute you get pregnant, never to return. And to those people? Eh, whatever, don't need ya.

Then there are the rest... The most clueless individuals in the world when it comes to kids. The people that throw out dinner times that start at 8:00pm... That want to go shopping in stores that contain breakable items... That look at you in dismay when you show up with a purse, a diaper bag, assorted cars, toys, sippycups and oh yeah, a kid.

Now I don't really blame these people. I used to be fun. Things used to be different. And unless you eat live and breathe toddler schedules, food and life in general, you just don't know. But it makes it hard because I hate being the person who has to remind them that afternoon is nap time. That fussy restaurants are a no go. That my kid wants to touch everything and go go go go go and that if he misses his nap, all bets are off.

Yes we can move the schedule, but trust me, do you really want to deal with a tantruming toddler at a restaurant? (correct answer, no you do not)

On good days, of which there are many, my child would inspire the childless to reproduce. But in those strange, unpredictable moments where I have simply pushed too far, too hard and he is just too far gone into exhaustion? Oh lord. I see the wide eyed horror on their faces. I see the look that says, oh hell no.

It is hard. And it can be scary.

For both sides.


Angi B said...

Great post! Perfect!

Shondra said...

I know the feeling. One of my childless friends just moved to London and told me that I should come visit and she has an extra bedroom. I was thinking, ok and either (a) leave my kids at home with my poor husband for a week or (b) descend upon your small un-childproofed, two bedroom apartment with my family of four after an 8 hour plane ride. She was just trying to be nice, but obviously had no idea how complicated a trip to London would be :)

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