Well, that's not entirely true. It's actually more of this surreal time warp where I feel like there has never been a time that you haven't been here... and I haven't been sleep deprived :-) But at the same time, I look at the pictures from when we brought you home and how little you are... and I can't believe the big boy in front of me.
I went back to work this month, and I feel like it changed our relationship a little bit. It made me realize that I could let go, just a little bit and let you go with other people and enjoy the world without me. It made me realize that the times that we do have together are SO awesome and special and that I need to treasure them... to lay down next to you to practice rolling over, or learn to sit up, or sing to each other, instead of grabbing that last load of laundry. Trust me, there will ALWAYS be laundry.
You are so much fun these days. You still think that I am the FUNNIEST person in the whole world, although Daddy and BonBon are definitely high up on the list as well. You smile at everyone, perfect strangers in the grocery store, or the doctor's office. And people in the airport stop to look at you because you are such a smiley adorable kid.
You have chubby little fat rolls on your legs that I love to nibble on and you squeal with laughter when I do. You have the bluest eyes and are just starting to get hair, and no one can really tell what color it is, because it changes in the light. Blond? Brown? Red? (Although if it's red we have some issues because maybe I shouldn't have been dying my hair red when I was pregnant... this definitely ain't Mama's natural color.) You are a MOOSE. Already into 9 month clothes and 85% in weight and 95% in height. You are going to be like your Daddy, tall and skinny...
You are a sweet, sweet boy and you love to snuggle and give hugs to your Mama and Daddy, even though I'm already starting to see the little boy that you are going to be. When you have a meltdown and try to push me away, I see that first tantrum in your terrible twos. When you want to BOUNCE BOUNCE BOUNCE in the jumperoo, I see the little boy who isn't going to want to be held by his Mama and instead wants to RUN RUN RUN, PUT ME DOWN LADY...
You had your 4 month booster shots today and you were SO brave. You didn't even notice the first shot and the second made you cry, but you still managed to smile at the nurse when she left the room. Always my sweet boogie bear.
This is my last week at work and will probably be the beginning of some big changes in our lives. San Diego won't ever be your home like it was mine, but instead you'll grow up like your Daddy did, a NorCal boy. You won't remember the month that you spent with your BonBon, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week of concentrated one on one time. So much time together, that when she walks into the room your face lights up with smiles. You won't, but she will always remember the giggles and the bouncing and the learning how to sit up and roll over. You won't ever remember living in this little house in North Park and playing with Maddy the Dog.
There are big changes coming little man. A big move for our little family, with lots of new adventures and people to meet and a new house to find. More airplane rides, back and forth from NorCal to SoCal, to see BonBon and PopPop and Maddy the Dog. More trips up to see Grandma and maybe even a trip to see Auntie Lara, Uncle Andy and the cousins.
But for now you are 4 months old and getting bigger by the minute. Stop growing up so darn fast kiddo.
- Mama
