How To Suck at Farming

1) Go to expensive, non GMO, heirloom seed store with little to no idea what you are doing. Buy up about 20 dollars worth of seeds with the intention of "doing it yourself, from scratch gosh-darnit".

2) Plant said seeds in either the raised beds or the seedling planter, enclosed in the greenhouse-ish thing that is part of the raised bed.

3) Leave for a week

4) Come home to find sprouts! Little green shoots that boast of your green thumb and ability to raise things from the earth.

5) Leave for a few more days

6) Come home to find the larger seedlings, for the most part, eaten.

7) Curse birds, build rudimentary scarecrow. Laugh with the knowledge that you have now bested those pesky birds and whatever is left to grow will do so uninterrupted.

8) Walk outside a few days later to see that not only have the damn birds NOT stayed away, they have eaten the last of my zucchini plants. They are laughing at me from the fence... I just know it.

9) Contemplate going out to buy bigger starters for the seedlings that were eaten. And maybe a gun.

Before and After 

These little babies are all I have left.